Last Monday morning, I woke to feel physically and mentally exhausted, and I didn’t want to get out of bed. For me, this is a feeling that I seldom feel, and as my day progressed, my energy didn’t improve. For the next couple of days, this feeling of ‘no energy, foggy brain and feeling ‘flat’ continued. At the same time, the niggling sore neck muscles that I had been ignoring finally made me wake up as my back went into a deep achiness. Yes, I had my period, but I knew this was something more. This was my soul saying to me ‘Lorraine you cannot keep up this pace you are living your life, giving yourself to others in supporting their lives, while giving very little to yourself’. Yes, I knew in my heart, the way I was living the past few months of my life, had finally caught up with me. I didn’t feel afraid of how I was feeling, as I knew what this was about, it was me needing to stop all the busyness in my life, and just allow myself some quiet time for ‘me’. I needed to be ‘gentle’ with myself and give my permission to just rest.
So for the rest of the week, I made some changes. I first admitted to myself, that the past few months I had been supporting others, trying to do too much and giving myself very little time to relax and have some fun. That had to change now. Every day, even though my body and mind didn’t feel like doing much, I got myself out walking on the beach, I did a restorative yoga class which allowed me to really reconnect with every muscle in my body and also have some deep connection to my heart. I allowed myself to do whatever I felt like doing and sometimes that wasn’t a lot, and I allowed myself to just sit still, knowing that was ok. But I knew, it was vital that I allowed myself to rest and re-evaluate how I was living my life. I went to my osteopath who has such a gift and he gave my body the much-needed realignment that it had been begging for months. I also reconnected with loved ones and friends, and that has brought a lot of fun. I am also going to start my tango dancing again, as this is my passion and I have let it slip away.
So a week later, I woke this morning feeling energized, clear-headed and happy! I think as Mothers especially, we can easily settle into giving our ‘all’ in all areas of our full lives, but we forget to give to ourselves.
I must check next week to see if I have made it to a tango milonga.
